wedding planning (not so) 101

Congrats!! You just got engaged and you are so super excited to start planning your future together!
OR maybe you aren't big on planning things so you are a bit scared, nervous, and frankly; unsure where to start!  

I want to share some low key common questions I get asked just from being on the outskirts of the industry along with my own personal experience with friends and their unique questions they had when they started planning their wedding. Honestly, some questions don't even start to come up until you're about 3-6 months out from the wedding thinking, "do I really have to do that?" or even, "dang it, I forgot about that; is it really necessary?". 

I'm here to tell you, DO WHATEVER OR DON'T DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, first off. It's your wedding! I know a lot of planners and coordinators; especially those that may have been in the industry for quite some time; abide directly from the book. But, I'm here today as a 21st century bride and coordinator, to tell you to do what you want! But there are some specifics I want to get into. 

i don't even know where to start, what do i need to do first?

First, just to celebrate with your fiancé! This is a beautiful time and the only time it will be like this. The rest of your life, you will be married, which is great too! But the engagement period is none like any other. It is such a fun limbo phase! Once you've taken the time to admire your engagement and celebrate with family and friends; if you want to and when you are ready to start planning, I recommend talking with your fiancé about your ideas for the wedding.
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• Do you want to have a large wedding, small wedding, destination wedding, elopement, etc?
• Figure out who or how you plan on paying for the wedding. The traditional way of how weddings have been organized in the past aren't really industry standards anymore. There's a really good article from WeddingWire.com about what's going on with weddings in today's society. This is from that article:

• Draft up a guest list. It does not by any means have to be your final list but something to go off of. This will be the first thing venues will ask. If you want to include your immediate, extended family, friends, and plus one's; get the input of your parents as well. They typically have the correct names, phone numbers, and possibly addresses of extended family IF you are wanting them to be included. Don't forget plus one's if you're giving them. Remember to include those in the wedding party as well as yourself and fiancé in the list. 

After you discuss those three items, the next best course of action would be:

• Venue Research
• Date Options
• Photographer

how much will all this cost?

This question is a very loaded question. It's practically impossible to answer! But the answer I can give you is, however much you want it to cost! It all depends on what type of wedding you plan on having. A 50 person wedding can cost the same for a 200 person wedding, it just depends on how you throw it! In the same way, a 50 person wedding can also be extremely less expensive than a 200 person wedding. This is where a wedding planner and/or coordinator can assist in what your needs and wants are. Each wedding is vastly different from one another and it's difficult to cookie cutter an exact number of "how much does a wedding cost". In the same regard how a venue can also differ from one another since some venues only offer a space and others are more semi inclusive or even "all inclusive".

should i hire a photographer and a videographer?

My short answer is yes.

These two vendors play very different roles. One captures still images of your day. You can hang these photos on your walls, in your office, send thank you cards with these. Videography provides you that moment in time and brings you through the whole day. Especially for the bride and groom when you literally have every minute dedicated to something and it flies by so fast. The videographer will help let you see from others eyes and recapture the day.

In the Nashville market, you can typically find a good videographer between $2,000-$4,000. However, I can definitely understand if the funds just are not there. If you have time to save up a bit more or sell something, I would say do it so you can get that videographer. If not, you obviously will want photos to hang and show so the photographer is a must.  

do i need event/wedding insurance?

Again, my short answer is yes. Is it required? Sometimes.

​Some venues do require you to provide your own insurance, some don't. Just check with them. Additionally, some venues require your VENDORS to have a certain amount of liability insurance as well. Check with them before hiring. However, that is somewhat of a different type of insurance. Wedding insurance, like wedsafe.com, typically covers postponements, sickness, someone being injured, deployment due to venue construction, damage to gifts, a vendor not showing up that you paid a deposit for, etc. The one thing about these policies are most of the time they can be pretty customizable as well. And they are not usually too too expensive, I think the most expensive policy I've seen so far is about $300.00. I know $300.00 for one day can seem extreme but what would really be extreme is if you had to reschedule and you lost all that money from vendor contracts and they couldn't reschedule. 

we're thinking of postponing our honeymoon, but is that wierd?

Not at all. It's becoming increasingly more popular for honeymoons to not come directly after the wedding. Some choose to wait until the Monday after a Saturday wedding, while others may even wait 8-12 months after! There are so many different reasons for why some couples may choose or need to delay their honeymoon. One thing I would like to say though is for sure take one. Don't feel like just because it's been a 6 months to a year since the wedding doesn't mean you can't take a honeymoon or anymore. Keep that flame alive and still go! 

do i have to have a flower girl or ring bearer?

Absolutely not! It's a cute thing to have, of course, but it's not totally necessary. If you have family members with children or best friends with children that have been a strong part of your relationship, you can definitely have one. We even had two flower girls. However, if you are not really kid people or don't have anyone that is really young enough to be a "flower girl" or "ring bearer", you definitely do not have to. Also, most people won't even notice anyway. If you ready are hung up on the idea of some flower petals being thrown down the aisle, some couples have even opted into having a flower grandmother or flower "boy/man".  Just some fun ideas to keep it light!

do i have to do engagement photos?

You do not. Engagement photos are not a "new" thing but they have definitely become increasingly popular over the last decade or two. Mainly due to social media factors. Engagement photos provide an opportunity for a couple to have a photoshoot with the two of you in a way that you may have not done before. This also gives the couple options for photos for other activities like wedding showers, save the dates, invitations, etc. to use during those and for those things. However, it is by no means mandatory or required. If you have photos of the two of you otherwise, you can definitely still use those or just snag a few at a park. I will say though, it is no substitute for professional photos if you can afford them. 

Are wedding favors still a thing?

Yes and no. Yes, wedding favors still exist. Are they necessary? In my opinion, no. In my experience wedding favors have ranged anywhere from fancy coasters, a nice little coozie for your beer with the couple and their wedding date on it, little plastic cups, etc. All of which, typically have the couple's name, the date, and/or a photo of them. Let's be honest, it's a nice gift but the guests will usually toss it between 1-12 months after the wedding. Because who really wants 15 coozies with other peoples dates and names on them? If you have found that you just really want to provide your guests with a wedding favor, my advice, is find one that that is relatively functional and maybe something that doesn't have to have your event all over it. 

Wedding favors can sometimes be very expensive, upwards off $500-$1000! I say, use your money wisely elsewhere. Your guests will enjoy their night/your wedding with or without a favor and more times than not, they won't even notice. 

is a wedding planner or coordinator needed if I can do it all myself?

"This is a blurry question. The second part of this question I like to ask is, but can you really do it all yourself? My answer every time is, please get a coordinator. It will save you so much stress and unneeded anxiety to hire even just a month-of coordinator. However, be sure that you read reviews and talk with previous clients of their's before hiring because hiring a bad coordinator can sometimes feel like you are doing double the work. 

I will share the difference between a planner and coordinator in a different post but in simple; a planner plans and a coordinator, coordinates. If you have your own visual and can do most of the grunt work in the beginning, a coordinator is probably your best bet.

"But I can't afford a coordinator!" Look, that's okay. Find your local college, even hiring an aspiring event professional will help instead of you having to do everything the week of/day of your wedding. 

I planned my own wedding but when it came down to finalizing payments, paperwork, getting all those small details right in each room of the venue, linens, plates, vendors showing up on time; I did not want to be worrying (aka working) on my wedding day! I would had given my right arm to my wedding coordinator if I could. 

so the answer is, absolutely YES!